Why home ownership may not be for everyone

In her upcoming book, “Financial Illumination!: The Modern Latina's Guide to Lifting Your Dinero and Becoming Financially Empowered,” author Janice Torres discusses how she became the first woman in her family to graduate from college, build a career, and achieve what she wanted. He believes they are signs of success.

However, as she pursued the American dream, she realized she didn't know what to do with her financial success. I've also realized that some milestones, like home ownership, often don't represent accomplishments so much as a new set of challenges.

“It's important that people don't feel that pressure to buy a house because you're a certain age or you've reached a certain point in life,” said Torres, the Latino money expert who hosts the radio show “Yo Quiero Dinero.” and an entrepreneurship coach who helps clients achieve financial independence.

CNBC spoke with Torres in early April about what prompted her to write her new book, how she dealt with “financial survivor's guilt,” and why pursuing the American dream can become a nightmare for some.

(This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.)

Anna Teresa Sola: What prompted you to write this book?

Janice Torres: When I was doing market research for the book, one of the things I did was look and see what the competitive market looked like out there, or if there was a reason why this book needed to exist.

I couldn't find a single book that was specifically marketed to the Latino community or Latinos in general being the majority minority in this country.

I felt like I wanted to write the book that I needed when I graduated high school that could have saved me from making a lot of financial mistakes because I never learned anything about money. The more I talk to people through podcasts and through my social media platforms, this is a very common feeling. We are told to go to school, get a job and earn money, but that is the end of the conversation. What do we actually do with it?

ATS: Like many younger generations of Latinos in the United States, you have overcome many obstacles and achieved major goals. But you describe in the book that these milestones also come with feelings of guilt. Why is guilt associated with success?

JT: I call it “financial survivor’s guilt” because that’s one of the things we weren’t prepared for. Our families told us to go for the American dream, but we were not instructed on how to manage the emotions that come with it. No one talks about the sadness that comes with growing up. No one talks about what it feels like to be on the other side of a struggle when there are still so many people you love and you feel powerless to help them all.

It will take people to give themselves some compassion, and to be okay with it, to feel these feelings. But don't let them ruin you. It will take some boundaries that you learn to practice and also be okay with feeling like you are on this island alone. When you are the first to do something, you will always feel uncomfortable. But if we don't have examples of people who can achieve it, I think it will be very difficult for people to believe that they can achieve it too.

ATS: Tell me about that season or point in time when you bought a house, but it wasn't everything you thought it would be.

JT: Looking back now, I was falling victim to the American dream. As a first-generation kid, my parents didn't invest. One thing we've seen as examples of “accomplishment” is when family members buy homes: the sacrifices were worth it, and that's the thing you have to show for your success.

I definitely felt the pressure to keep up with the Joneses in that regard. I was 30 and I saw friends buying houses, getting married, and doing all those things on the list of successful adult lives. When I decided to buy the house, it was coming from a place of, “Okay, I need to do this too, because that's what everyone is doing.”

I quickly realized that I had bought a house in a place I didn't even want to live.

Looking back on it now, it's like I was making all these decisions because of what other people valued versus asking myself what I actually valued. The freedom and flexibility that comes with renting is something I really appreciate.

But I felt like I was falling victim to that narrative that says, “You're wasting money if you rent, and successful adults buy houses.” It took a lot of erasing those narratives and realizing that just because something worked for one person doesn't mean it's universally applicable.

Home ownership is one of those things where more people need to question whether they have the right personality, lifestyle, or value system for it, or if you just want to do it because that's what everyone is telling you to do.

ATS: What would you say to someone who is financially comfortable or has reached certain benchmarks where they can invest in real estate but is still cautious about it?

JT: One of the things that made me realize that I was in over my head very quickly was the fact that two weeks after I moved into the house, I found out that the basement was going to flood. The sewer line was clogged, which we did not check during the inspection. I ended up spending $4000 on replacing the pipe in the basement two weeks after I moved in. This pretty much used up what little money I had left after closing costs.

I ended up having to take out a 401(k) loan to pay for repairs and put things on credit cards. It's important to realize that closing costs, fees, and down payment are just the beginning.

There's this narrative that if you get a mortgage, you'll pay the same amount of money forever and that's why you should buy a house instead of renting. And I say: “Absolutely not.” Property taxes and insurance will increase. You won't be able to predict when things are going wrong at home and when you need to fix something.

You need to make sure you can afford the maintenance and things that will inevitably come with home ownership. And from a value perspective, you have to really be honest with yourself: “Does this fit my lifestyle? Do I want to stay in this place for about ten years or more? … Or do I want the flexibility that I'm giving my landlord?” 30 days notice and be able to move on Are you in a job you want to do long term or do you want to change your career?

ATS: Do you think the American dream has changed?

JT: I definitely think the American Dream is in the process of being redefined because it has become more out of reach, especially for newer generations. I think there was this path to “success” where you could go to school, you could buy a house with a regular job, previous generations weren't saddled with the level of student loan debt and the cost of living wasn't as high. There are factors at play that make the American dream obsolete or at least inaccessible to people.

We're seeing sort of this questioning of this and this shift. I think the Great Recession was a big catalyst for people who started to wonder. It feels like the American Dream is just an illusion for a lot of people, and I'm curious to see where it goes.